Water You Turned into Wine

How do you feel when you see a disaster coming and you can do nothing to prevent it?

Scared? Upset? Frustrated? Angry?

Helpless is the word.

I have always prided myself on being able to handle events, issues or circumstances with ease and confidence. I try my utmost best everytime to come across cool, calm and collected. No one knows just how nervous or scared I can get inside.

My greatest fear in life is not being able to do something about it. Meaning, I feel extremely disturbed when there is a situation and I'm not able to do anything about it. Absolutely anything. That irks me to the core and I always have a strong urge to stand up and go rectify the problem.

I'm a problem fixer : )

But what if I can't fix the problem this time? What if I have no means or ways that I've used before to solve this? How can I handle this better?

When all of these questions can't be answered, I start to freak out. Like big time freak out. When I can't find an immediate solution to a situation, my mind can't focus on anything else except to "fix the problem" or "I gotta do something about this". This cripples me in return and I find my energy sapped away because I spend the whole day worrying, wondering and trying to find an answer to the situation.

I've decided, you're on your own.

I've decided, that you have your own life to live and I can't live it for you.

I've decided, that you can say what you want, but it won't change my feelings towards you.

I've decided, you need help, lots of it, but since you don't want it, you're not going to get any.

I've decided, to choose being neutral because it gives me that liberty not to be bound by you.

I've decided, to let go and believe that you can be independent.

I've decided, to live my own life making sure I make the right choices and not wrong ones.

But most importantly, I choose to place my decisions before someone who is so much wiser than me. I choose to live by faith knowing that things will work out all right. I believe that no amount of worrying makes me happier, richer or satisfied; but it is God who makes it all happen on earth, not me at all.

When I make that choice, to choose God above everyone and everything else.. it changes how I choose other things in my life - relationships, jobs, ambitions and etc. Because when I make decisions on those areas, I have Him on my mind.

God has already chosen us. Have you chosen Him above everything else? The banquet is set and the King is calling, have you received the invitation and have yet to respond and come to the table to feast?

Come one, come all.

Eat and feast with the King of your heart, and be attentive to His heart beat.