the sands of time

the time ticks away and i realise that i'm one more day closer to it

one more day closer to bidding farewell

one more day nearer to seeing it become a reality

one more day to seeing them graduate

i've always imagined how it would feel to see a whole bunch of you leave

i thought i'd be so overjoyed that it would outweigh the sadness of missing each one of you

i was wrong. i'm missing all of you already.

i wish i could have spent more time for the past few months with you all.

when i saw the robes today, my heart leapt for joy and sank with melancholy.

when i signed your "teacher check" for your final Self Test in your Science 1110, my heart sank.

when i heard about college applications, i realised that you are on a new journey already.

when i listened to the discussion on what has happened throughout the years that were significant, it got me thinking...

just how much different my life would have been if you weren't part of it

i would never trade the years you guys have spent in the school for anything in the world.

since 2006 until now, every single one of you have left your own special and significant footprint in my heart.

i am looking forward to see all of you wear your robes. Your robes signify achievement, hard work, perseverance and also thanksgiving. Don't ever forget to give glory to the One who made it possible for you to graduate. Don't ever let go of the hope that Jesus has won on the Cross for every single one of you.

do me a favour. if you see a certain shine of moisture in your supervisor's eye for these next few days, just ignore it and pretend you didn't see it. i'm in quite a sentimental mood at the moment you see :p

now i understand why my lecturer of 3 years could cry even though she lectured us for 15% of our classes... we were students then and we couldn't understand what attachment she had with us... a twist of fate and now i find myself in that position : )

i leave this post with part of a song that i love alot... its called Graduation, sung by Vitamin C. Enjoy.

So if we get the big jobs and we make the big money,

when we look back now will our jokes still be funny?,
will we still remember everything we learned in school,
still be trying to break every single rule?
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that its not goodbye,
Keep on thinkin its a time to fly,
And this is how it feels...

As we go on we remember,

All the times we had together,
And as our lives change,
Come whatever,
We will still be Friends Forever...

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end,
AND SUDDENLY IT'S LIKE WE'RE WOMEN AND MEN
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us round?
Or will these memories fade when I leave this town?,
I keep, I keep thinking that its not goodbye
Keep on thinking its a time to fly...

As we go on we remember,

All the times we had together,
And as our lives change,
Come whatever,
We will still be Friends Forever...

bodoh

To be honest... more than half of the things i said were true : )

yes, i do feel like leaving

yes, i do think no one will be around to celebrate next year

yes, i have been trying to put it behind me but i just can't

yes, i will be sad if i leave

yes, most of the time i can't find myself anymore than a person who has lost his/her way

yes, i really wonder if i'm just a friend or a follower

i'm the biggest actor in town. i acted myself out that i was acting about something... and in the end everyone thought i was really acting.

you guys had a ball just now, didn't you?

my own joke happened on me. there is indeed a law of sowing and reaping. and how my soul knows that very well now. it was a good night nonetheless, i hope you all had a great time laughing at me.

kenapalah bodoh nak mampus...

try hope

when i say i have an expectation upon you, it feels so routine, rule-abiding and judgemental at times

however, when i have hope in you, it spells out possibility, excitement and promise : )

it tells of the ability that is beyond your current capacity.

it means i look forward to tomorrow and see you becoming better than who you are today

because in the heart of God is this word - hope.

tied with hope is love...

and the people around us may fail, the things we trust in can fail as well, institutions where we think we can rely on may crumble and fall...

but love never fails
it believes all things
hopes all things

No matter what the circumstances, you are still a friend and always will be. nothing you do or not do can change that fact.

you've tried so hard to be the best you can... that's exercising expectation and measuring it with results and achievements, monuments of efforts that have been exerted through pain, sweat and tears.

try hope.
it means jumping off a cliff not knowing how far away you are from the bottom.

taste hope.
its not the taste of salty sweat in your mouth, but its a taste of sheer freedom.

experience hope.
let it transform your whole value system from works to grace.

sob sob

Wee yen would say, "Wait...its coming, its coming! But don't know front or back... wait for it..." *farts*

Lydia ALWAYS says, "eh..i dontchk say dontchk!!!" and rolls her eyes when i call her "leeeeedia.."

Grace wong calls me "miss Cat Cat"

Ian Fan wants to Prime Minister one day. i support it! :D

Justine, i will miss the way you say "can i stay in here today?" , kid..you're welcome anytime in my classroom as long as you want to come back

Jinnyee, my wonderful artist, backdrop coordinator, makeup artist : )

Naomi a.k.a. Tuk Tuk... you will always be the best sound woman i've had... it's great seeing you in action running the sound show

Bryant Sum is my source of anime once upon a time... Hayate No Gotoku : )

it only seemed like yesterday when i first stepped into school in 2006 and before i know it i'm near to closing the 4th year of my teaching history in Grace Resource Homeschooling Centre.

although you guys and girls came at different points of time, all of you are special in your own special way. the examples i gave above are just one of the many personal traits that i love and cherish about every single one of you. i have seen the change, the growth and development of all you guys as an individual and collectively as the seniors.

i just want to say this...

i'm proud of all of you : )

i also want to say this...

i am going to miss all of you very much. Awards and Graduation Night 09 is coming... it makes me miss you guys all the more.

i love you <3

passing thoughts

i wonder if its a psychological thing... in a group, it's just there.

i can feel it creeping into my heart

i can sense it trying to take my attention away

i know it desires to just lure my emotions to it

but i have to fight with it

i have to realise that there is a power Above that can set me free

sometimes i struggle with the concept that He can save me

then i realise that humans struggle with concept and fail

Jacob struggled with God, and found a new name, a new identity

it takes a whole life time to live out the life that God has prepared for me

the realisation of this isn't anymore those rock-fist moments at concerts

the reality hits me and i realise that i've

outgrown the Christian movements of my generation

no more of the euphoric moments where thousands jump and scream

there is a quiet, but peaceful dawning of revelation

that He is God Almighty. He is the Creator.

i am His creation. i was made to praise Him and bring glory to His name

as i write this... i am found by You.

you are my Friend and King.

i am Yours, forever i will sing

faithful is

my Friend and King