who.am.i.

one man's meat may be another man's poison they say.

what seems to foster faith seems to fuel doubt in some.

doubt seems to be shunned and despised more than welcomed.

when i am in the dark, i learn to depend on something far greater that i cannot possibly see.

i remember just worshiping and playing in the dark 3 years ago, not caring if the electricity or water would come. it was a time of abandon, sinking into that feeling that i was being carried on angels' wings while adoring the One. who knew when the utilities would be back?

all i knew was that He would come.

if we could trust everything, believe everything and be so sure of everything, surely faith would not need to play an active part in our lives anymore.

sometimes, we just cheat ourselves when we think we know it all.

when things are going wrong in any possible way, what does a person do?

are we like Job? All covered with scales and boils?

are we a totally repulsive sight to those around us?

have any of us endured being judged, ridiculed and commented upon by well meaning people? theyreasoned with our logic and gave us long prescriptions on how to behave, think and feel.

should we just curse ourselves and tell God that we were never meant to be created?

does He have a better chance with other people compared to us?

should i say that life is wretched and though I curse God not, I still think i am better off dead? Then perhaps it should please God to blast me with His awesome glory, boom out His inanswereable questions and ask me to answer them on His behalf.

who am I to be able to create the heavens and the earth?

who am I to be able to even form a tiny worm or a great oak tree?

who am I to be able to call together the clouds and create a furious storm or even a gentle rain?

who am I to question His will in every single matter that is under His eye in this universe that i live in?

i am a flower quickly fading,

here today and gone tomorrow;

wave tossed in the ocean,

a vapor in the wind

i can't question it and neither can anyone. it's a season where things are changing for the better in the eyes of God. although things look so messed up now currently, but there is a certain peace that comes from within knowing that i see something that i've never seen before.

even now, the song is playing in my mind,

but still You, hear me when I'm calling

Lord, you catch me when I'm falling

and told me who I am

I am Yours

is this 2009 all over again? where i burn my bridges, set them alight to see them break down, turn into ashes and be blown away to never come again?

some bridges were built with blood, sweat and tears.

shall i let them go and turn my back on those structures?

do i build new bridges to lead to other destinations?

do i look to the Master Builder for new blueprints? not a bridge this time?

whom shall I fear, whom shall I fear?

for I am Yours

I am Yours