I'm letting go, and letting God

Awards night came and gone, but I am glad that with the hustle and bustle, the long practices for the drama and dance and finishing the backdrop... WE DID IT :D :D :D The drama was deemed a success despite the initial glitches.

Most importantly, I am glad the crowd was touched by the performance. Some told me that the presence of God was strong and some cried at certain scenes. Applause was heard for various parts, hats off to a scene where "LOOK AT ME!!" came out of the blue, giving me the script writer cum director a big shock but it was all in all a great performance.

Special thanks to the drama cast, the backdrop artists, the stage crew, the dancers, Colleen, AV and lighting crew and all the other supervisors and students who gave us their support. This drama was really an offering to God and we hope to live out the theme "what would Jesus do" in our own special and dynamic way.

Things got really interesting after that night. A whirl wind descended upon my life and in space of a week, my life has been turned inside out, upside down, sideways and byways. Unexpected drama and suspense have blanketed my every thought.

It is perhaps inevitable that things have to come to an end soon and somehow, I feel that hard tugging at my heart when I go through photos, videos and notes written by some close ones to my heart. You have no idea just how many times in a day I grapple with the reality and turn to my idealism for comfort.

I am still an idealist looking for a rainbow after the storm. Would God grant me a rainbow again for my future?

What makes it ache so much is when I am reminded on an almost hourly basis through my thoughts just how much I believed that I would be there forever. That somehow I was naive enough to think that things would never turn for the worse. I was hopeful and idealistic enough to believe that I would never need to come to this stage or situation.

Was I too idealistic to apply my faith? Even until now, I am idealistic and placing faith that somehow that God, You have to come through.

That night, someone said to me in desperation.

"Go and tell them, Miss Cath! You have to go and tell them! I know that after you tell them, things will be all right. Please go and tell them!"

I feel desperate now,

God, go and tell them please! You have to go and tell them! I know that after You take control, things will be all right. Please go and tell them!

God, please?

Please...

Or my heart will break on that day if I lose them. It just might never recover :'(