A place where I'm brutally honest about everything: two more days

just two more days and i would have stepped into the year 2010, the year where the numbers are no longer single digits but two digits.. 2010...2011...2012.

I remember very well that the year 2020 was something that was constantly harped about in my primary school days... we already used to draw pictures of LRTs going through the big city of KL and hovercrafts and tons of technological gadgets. i wonder if the local authorities actually copied off our some of our childish ideas :p

but what i remember even more was that i would secretly count the years that i was away from 2020. i would always gasp and be filled with a mixture of excitement-fear-anticipation all rolled into one. I would be THIRTY EIGHT by the year 2020 O_O

i know, those who know me would probably say at this point, "Only someone like Mei Ling would have thought of this even at her age" [note: they just mean i'm being weird :p]

well, 2010 approaches and i rack up another year to add to my age and i find myself standing at a distance of 10 years to the year 2020 I am still filled with that same sense of excitement-fear-anticipation. There's something significant in the space of 10 years.

When I finished Form 5 and at the age of 18 I decided to take on Form 6 instead of a diploma straight away and I found myself in a totally different school environment. It's not really because of school pride that I love CBN so much but because in that school, I learnt to believe in dreams and look far ahead. The culture of the school was to breed excellence and to strive to be on the top in all circumstances. I had an English teacher who loved to bring out of classroom things into our lives and used books, famous people and words to inspire us to see beyond ourselves.

I remember at 18, I realised that there was a part of me that needed to be filled by something and my journey of wanting to know the meaning of life started then. I remember thinking to myself, "10 years from now, where will I be?"

i wanted to be a medical doctor. I studied Biology & Chemistry in a college i swore i wouldn't enter because it was so "chinese". I worked as a reporter during my sem breaks. I failed my studies but miraculously still graduated with a degree from the Liverpool John Moores University in the UK. I worked as a research assistant in University Malaya researching national unity and translating articles... and now...

I'm a teacher. The first job that I declared to my friends that I would NEVER in my life take.

But is it such a surprise if those who have inspired me thus far in my life have been teachers?

Teacher Low

Madam Soong

Mrs. Raihah

Mrs. Ramdas

Miss Chia

Jesus

They were all teachers :p it was in God's planning after all for the past 10 years from 18 until now that as i turn 28 soon that His hand has led me on this journey so far to this point of my life.

And right now, as I am turning 28 and I pray ahead for the year 2010 and also look in anticipation that when I reach the year 2020 I will be turning 38... i wonder what does God have in store for me? Fear of the great unknown? Excitement for new things to come? Anticipation of success and accomplishment? I have all of these and it is comforting to know that the years to come I am not alone.

I am grateful that God has left around me so many hint and promises of His goodness for me thus far - my family, my friends, church, cell group, colleagues at work, my wonderful kids at school. There have been moments that would have been unbearable if these things were not there to remind me of His goodness everyday.

But most precious are those moments in this past year when things were going out of control that I could turn to God and cry and ask for comfort. Thank You for the days when I would be carrying defeat in my heart because of something that was said or done, where I would slip away for just 5 minutes to shed some tears in the toilet God has seen those days. Thank You for the days when I'm driving and I totally lose my sense of direction and He gives me instant guidance.

Thank You for the days when I am stubborn and yet You call out to me to return to You. Thank You for the moments when I think I am not worthy to serve You and yet You still invite me to partake of Your works.

Truly as I look now into 2010, I see God being in it. I see that He has already laid out a masterplan that is crafted specially for me to walk in it. He has prepared the blueprints way ahead of time and taken time to plan, decide and execute His plans for my future. I have yet to walk into 2010 yet but I know in my spirit, that He will neither leave me nor forsake me to the wiles of the world.

I'm not just looking at 2010, but I'm already anticipating the next 1o years and i know that they will be great ones because after 10 years I'm already seeing things like marriages along the way, children born and growing up, ministries increasing, my kids in school all grown up and inspiring future generations... the list goes on : )

i'm shaking off the year 2009 and stepping into an entirely new 2010. in Jesus' name, amen!

and now... the pictures that i ♥ the most in 2009!