Revelation 3: 20 Be - loved

"behold, i stand at the door and knock..." [gosh, that sunday school song is in my mind now :p]

The artist painted this picture and you would notice immediately that there was no doorknob on the door. So how does He come in? where is the door knob then? did the artist miss it or was it an intentional miss?

the door knob is on OUR side of the door. it's INSIDE where we are sitting. in our rooms, in the chambers of our hearts. the doorknob is there for us to turn it and pull the door open when Jesus comes a-callin'.

yesterday, Pastor Dennis came and gave us staff training. one thing that i couldn't get over was the way he kept calling us "beloved". Almost in every single sentence he went, "beloved, if this..." or "beloved, you are...".

it made me feel so weird inside. no one has ever called me beloved before, let alone told me i can "be - loved" in such a way. I knew its Pastor Dennis' way of speech but to me, its personal because the word was used so much that i suddenly realised that Jesus... that's how He implores me and calls out to me.

beloved.

a timeless word spoken through the ages.

beloved.

a word that was and is and will be proven by His death on the cross.

beloved.

And i know, Jesus comes and stands at the door of our hearts and knocks and calls out to us. He makes His gentleman request for the door to be opened. And if the door is not, He waits. I have yet to see any painting or scripture writing or historical record that depicts Jesus turning His back on the ones that He calls His beloved.

in fact, i think i've turned my back against Him more than i could remember. and yet, I still belong to Him. yet again, He reminds me that I am His...

beloved.

yesterday, someone shared with me a song. The words i remember - love is not a battle, but it's worth fighting for.

is love worth fighting for? this isn't even in the romantic sense or what. LOVE... is this emotion, feeling, choice... is it worth laying my life down for? i've met so many different people for the past years... some tell me love is something very much worth fighting for. Some tell me they've chosen to allow love to go from their lives. Some have willfully so-called amputated love from their actions, words and heart... the list goes on.

so what is the benchmark for love? how do i know love is worth fighting for?

all for love the heavens cried

for love was crucified

i really don't know how to handle my life if there isn't love in it. love is a choice we all make. Even God Almighty, the Creator of the heavens and the earth; the One who was and is to come, the Strong and Mighty One... He had to make a choice.

and yesterday night, i prayed to God and i said, "God in Your sufficient mercy, grace and strength.. lead me to Your love. "

and He has.

He led me to that door. To hear the voice of Jesus calling on the other side, persistently knocking and calling out my name, "Beloved..."

behold, my Saviour stands at the door of my heart and knocks. He calls me beloved. He comes to dine with me at the most important time of my life. He knows that at this hour, I need Him to rescue me. as i rest my hand on that doorknob... the questions arise...

"what if he's a fraud? what if he's not the real thing?"

what if i get disappointed?

but you recognise and trust the voice of whom you love, yes?

and i love Him with all my heart, soul and mind. many times that's the only thing I know about my relationship with Jesus. His voice is the only clear voice out of the voices i've been hearing for so long.

and so i turn the door knob know Jesus, i allow You to come into my heart. I allow You to dine with me right now. I allow You to take a seat, in fact, the seat in my heart and dine with me. To talk to me. To fellowship with me.

i shall allow You to love me, against all the odds. because you braved the odds. you were the one who was willing to wait in the night and knock on the door and implore me with your loving kindness and tender mercies.

beloved.

and I will love You all my life

for You are the reason, the One that I live for