the sound in the silence part II

I've been wondering... just how long this silence would persist inside... somehow, screaming it at the top of my lungs from the rooftops or declaring it to a multitude or even ranting and raving about it to someone... it doesn't make a difference.

Because its the sound in the silence. it's like in a vacuum. it's there, yet you can't hear it kinda thing.

*chuckle*

somehow, I'd much prefer to be where I am at the moment. Not because I'm defiant. Not because I'm ignorant (heaven forbid) and not because I'm in a i-don't-care kinda mood. It's just that I don't hear or see the direction to go to somewhere else.

of course, complications arise and suddenly i find myself being the object of interest to some. Understanding was subjective in the very beginning anyways, so who cares?

Should I just drop everything and disappear as I always thought I should? Just when I thought today would be the last day... somehow God decides to step in and make the day seem utterly wonderful and full of hope. Jesus can do that for you, ya know... He loves to inspire, motivate and exhort.... even if you didn't breathe a word of prayer.

Just so you know. I have a relationship with God. And it doesn't matter if I come in after 5pm :)

have a nice day.

Happy Valentine's

Dear friend,

I've added one more year to the slate. Another year of laughing and enjoying every moment of the friendship that I know is a gift from God :) I wouldn't trade it for anything at this moment.

As we both get one year older, please remember that I will always be there as a friend... to lend a helping hand and shoulder to cry on. There shouldn't be any reason for us to go beyond this because there really isn't anything to go beyond with.

Happy Valentine's Day. I'm still waiting for you to find your valentine. To find the one that you will call your love. I'm keeping you in prayer, that God prepares you to be the man of destiny He has called you to be.

what an awesome 27th

from the morning until the day ended...it was a blast! all thanks to friends who showered their love and affection :P

my photos are up in Facebook...so you can go there to check it out. At the moment, the pictures from GRC are up at Facebook, the rest will follow soon I promise!

my GRC thanks goes out to:

1. Justine and Jaedon for the awesome Ferrero Rocher chocolates... its my favourite chocolates!

2. To Ryan Tan who presented me with an awesome Starbucks Macchiato [also a personal favourite] and for surprising me with an awesome Starbucks CNY keychain :)

3. Thank you to Jinnyee for the delicious muffin from Starbucks as well! it made my break time so special yesterday :P

4. A hearty thanks to Tommy and his mom for giving me Beryl's chocolate [also a personal favourite for me :D]

5. Thank you to GRC for making me such a nice birthday card... "happy old age" huh :P

6. Thank you so much for the tiramisu cake :)

7. Thank you Raquel for the brownie cake... it was scrumptious!

8. Thank you to all students who wished me happy birthday in the morning until I left in the evening.

9. Thank you to Roanne, Melissa Yeap and Zoe Tai who wished me happy birthday all the way from Australia :)

10. Thank you to the staff at GRC for wishing me happy birthday :) and uncle kevin who walked in to wish me specially at the youth hall :D

11. Big thank you and hug to sophira for remembering my birthday: ) you were the first to wish me ;)

*part two will be up soon after i get the pictures for my night outing at Pavillion, KL*

i'm glad for the rain

at this point of time I feel that I've burnt my bridges, cut off all ties and let go of things that are secure and comfortable to me.

the interesting thing is... I'm excited about that.

if you would ask me to substantiate my actions, somehow... I do not have an answer to back my actions. Every attempt to explain my situation seems like a feeble option to give a polished and well-versed excuse. 

if you understood me well enough, you would know I would rather keep my silence than to lie about my current situation. I would rather hold my words than to simply produce a statement that I know that I don't believe in. 

I have to be honest with you... I have no idea why I'm doing all of this right now. I really don't.

if there is apprehension in the future that would come my way, I'm ready to face it. In fact, I'd rather go through all of this than open the door to more skeletons in the closet. Whose closet has the most skeletons doesn't really matter at this point of time.

all i can say is... if you have questions... ask me in person - sms, email, call, MSN or Facebook - i'd rather just tell you from my own mouth what I'm going through now. will you say i've changed. yes, i have. for the better/worse? no one is a better judge than God at this point.

i'm just trying to be myself. to rediscover something that I think i've lost. I'm on the track of a season of change...  a season of liberty that will open up paths that will be totally different because my perspectives are changing.

love me, hate me, misunderstand me, accept me, scold me, taunt me, praise me, question me... you can do so many things to me right now...

... but you will find that from today onwards that it will all not affect me. 

because i've found the perfect person to depend on... and i'm feeling great :)

a new season

life is full of decisions. and sometimes it's about making choices that aren't popular, accepted or typical.

i am choosing this day to follow the voice of God that I recognise. i am choosing to be real with the situations in my life. i am choosing to acknowledge and to take action over my own life with God's leading and confirmation.

i am entering a new season - liberty.

that was the word given to me on Sunday morning. i am deciding to quit so that I can start. To separate so that there will be a reuniting.

i wonder if anyone will understand what i'm choosing. but the most important is...

God understands me and still accepts me for who i am.