When I was your age

When I was your age

When I was your age, decisions didn't come any easier than it is for you now

In fact, it was probably as messy, difficult and annoying.

New year resolutions helped to a certain extent

but resolve was what I really needed, not more resolutions to be unmet again

Am I making sense? When I was your age, trying to verbalise myself wasn't easy either.

You either worry whether you're sounding like a weirdo with your principles

or whether people accept you for who you are

and if they don't, you don't care but yet do care when you wished for some understanding

When I was your age, the world didn't really hold much promise.

I had already accumulated enough heartache to stop believing, or having much high hopes

People were starting to be boring, a matter of convenience

all I wanted was an island so I could just be alone.

At your age, social media, social networking became a mask for me to hide

when I was unhappy, my status would either reflect that truth with lots of exaggeration

or mask the truth

tears were shed, but my status was always a " :) "

But when I was your age, it all changed as well

I found that life can be messy and difficult but there's a solution.

I discovered a resolve that I never had before

A kind of resolve that seems to be able to brave any kind of weather in my life

At your age, I learnt to communicate and find courage in voicing out

I found out that it's ok not to be ok

Acceptance was the new rule and rejection was never an option

A fresh breath of freedom!

When I was your age, I realised that denying hope to my heart made it sicker

If I stopped believing in another tomorrow, there would be no today to live in

People began to take on value, as I learnt that I am valuable

I didn't want to be alone anymore

When I was your age, I learnt that the Internet doesn't need to be

a place to hide and assume another alter ego, a fake personality

I made it a point to keepin' it real, by paying it forward

I'm writing to you now, because you're the age I was once upon a time :)

Because when I was your age, Jesus found me and saved me.

And life, well...

Has never really been the same anymore.

I have decided, I have resolved.

Up at Chefoo... which is the mandarin equivalent of "praying for blessings", I think all of us got a hearty dose of blessings upon blessings. Prophecies, deliverance, healing, rededication, revelations... the list just goes on. Not a single person was not touched by His awesome presence.

From the first night, I heard a wind howling amidst our worship. The second night, chains were cracking and breaking under His power. The final night, there was sound of the pitter patter of rain in the hall. There was an evident presence of God so strong that I could just sit there and feel the warmth of God start to burn in my gut without anyone laying hands on me.

I remember sitting on the floor sobbing my guts out, telling God just how much I loved Him and just how much I feel so small in His plan and I wondered how I'd ever fit in. The vision I saw next was His hands, both His hands were outstretched to me, He was clothed in white and He beckoned to me to come, COME, COME! I raced to Him, or rather, I was drawn to Him in an instant and I felt His love consume my very being. As I remember clearly, all He wanted me to do for Him was to experience His love at that moment, to be filled to the brim and overflowing with His pure, sweet and gentle love. I cried not just because of how small I felt, but out of sheer appreciation of just how deep and wide His love was for me. I cried in awe of His love, His exclusive love for me! And amidst that powerful touch of love, He gently impressed upon my heart,

"Without being filled with My love, nothing can be done."

True indeed. The world doesn't need another bunch of holy-molies telling people how wrong they are, or how much they've sinned. We need a band of people, a motley crew, that will go around telling and singing of the love of God. We need to present the world with a correct standard of who is God and what God is doing in our present times.

Love really is the answer to the world's issues. Receiving the love of God and His forgiveness opens possibilities like never before. We, the Church of God, have to rise to that level of understanding and receive His grace in order to be agents of grace in return among the "living dead" of our modern day society.

If you aren't capable of receiving love, how do you give love in return?

And so I will allow my God to whisper His love songs to me every night before I sleep, I will sing in return my love to Him as much as I can in my daily circumstances. That as I abide in His love, I will learn to lean against the heart of Jesus and know what is in His heart deeper and deeper each day.

And oh, how He loves us so

Oh, how He loves us

How He loves us so