amnesia

stage two of burning the bridge that I am on is starting.

somehow, perhaps what happened in 2008 was meant to happen, a rude awakening to jolt me into a reality that I had been eluding or didn't realise I was living in.

number One:

i'm officially burning you out of my life.

don't worry, you don't need to tell me, its my fault.

i don't need to hear your grand theories on commitment, faith and fellowship.

ask yourself this, that during those moments i let you dish out your crap about life and you were in that state of emotional wreckage...

... were you prepared to be a friend in return to let me dish out my crap? my emotional wreckages?

where were you when i needed you?

number Two:

i worship a real Jesus, not a plastic one.

if life isn't going well, i won't pretend that it is.

i refuse to be a hypocrite and live in a Christian lala-land that denies the realities of life.

there is a difference between faith and denial.

number Three:

i definitely resented being called melancholic.

i thought you would at least ask me what was wrong or hear me out.

telling me that you were just dropping a note of concern but stopping short at asking me, that sucks.

and yes, you expect an adult to come and tell you their problems right?

i have, in my own way.

i'm sorry. this is all becoming a little too much for me.

no matter what i say, it will eventually be retold/reexplained/reworded and it will still all be my fault.

you were always on the right side, isn't that the thing you've always been trying to tell me?