congratulations?

thank you for respecting my wishes and I finally got what I wanted. somehow, i knew that prayer was going to be answered and I'm thankful for that blessing.

but why is it that I feel even more rotten on the inside now?

maybe its because of the way you congratulated me?

maybe its because after knowing you for this period of time, i realise that it's been a cat and mouse game all the while?

maybe because all the while you don't think it's worth it to reconsider and let things go?

or is it time for all of us to start moving on to another place?

honestly, i wish i could tell you how i really feel.

i wish i could be so upfront, that i could just grab you by the lapels of your coat and demand that you set aside all disagreements, all prejudices, hurts and scars and just listen to me.

don't any of you realise what's going to happen if you let things just continue to slide the way they are now?

why should i stay if the very reason why i'm continuing this fight is lost in the midst of regulations, formality and politics?

there is no point to stay. unless you can begin to understand where I'm coming from.

it is absolutely pointless to stay if i wake up the next day wondering if things will ever be the same.

it is pointless to get things in the manner you want it and you sacrifice the right things that we should be holding onto.

i refuse to watch things crumble and fall. i refuse to see and watch bit by bit how your actions are going to affect all of them. no way am I going to let you ever do that. you stay away from them!

so what was the congratulations for? congratulations that you managed to stop me from leaving?

what am i staying back for now?

You tell me.

Because right now, the only option seems to be to just quit it all because you don't even know why I'm staying back for anyway.

when i'm done convincing my heart to stop caring. i will say my goodbyes. you can bet on it.