my true passion revealed

Aside from the wonderful food in Penang, it's been a refreshing trip away from the hustle and bustle of being a KL person, away from my tuition-ing for a short while, away from my daily responsibilities... it's been refreshing really : )

being in Penang, things are slower. The traffic is lesser and people generally don't speed and accelerate like us crazy Wilayah drivers :P (i wonder who)... the best thing was being driven around by Colleen (thank you for being driver even when you were tired). It really gives me time to stare at the roads around me, have a better look at the houses, shops and people walking around. 

God, thank You. It really gave me a lot of time to think this time at Penang. You gave me time to count my blessings. You gave me an opportunity to recap my life for the past 5 months for the year 2009 and refocused my perspective of life as I go through the many events that have been happening along these months.

The best was to be able to converse with Pastor Ken and Pastor Sharon... to share about my questions and doubts that i've recently been pondering over. The following are some of the things I've learnt that I want to share with you:

(i) Ministry should be a pleasure, not a pressure

(ii) Ministry should have joy and peace flowing out from it

(iii) Ministry will have fruits to show

(iv) Ministry functions and grows only because its from the grace of God, not our works

(v) Everyone has their individual time and season to move into

(vi) Grace is a person, not a theological debate or theory discussed over the pulpit

(vii) Grace is a personal thing, we need to spend time getting to know grace

(viii) Grace is a relationship

(ix) Don't leave a church because of bitterness or dissatisfaction with a person, it's not a solution

(x) No one can advise me about leaving a church or staying, no pastor/friend/leader... its strictly between myself and God and what His timing is for me

Last but not least... Pastor Sharon said something that made a lot of sense to me. It was her advice to me as I've decided to seek God for further direction,

"... allow yourself to be open before God... it means even setting aside your own preferences of what you want out of it."

that was honestly hard to swallow at that moment, but i realise that if i don't let go of what I prefer and look to God for better guidance, I'll always reach my breakthrough late. 

I am extremely thankful to be able to have made this trip to Penang. It's like reawakening a part of me that I thought was buried forever. My previous disappointments had kept me under depression, doubt and fears for too long, it's time to arise, and shine for the glory of God! 

i've realigned my vision and mission. somehow, i can super honest now and not worry about repurcussions. I realise that my ministry and where my heart really is doesn't belong to Wangsa Maju anymore... i can be honest (and i say this not negatively!) that my heart's passion doesn't belong to Harvest Season anymore. I've been trying to run away from that for the past 3 years... everyday, my heart is filled with images of young people in school, they are like my children and my all. i have been condemning myself and wondering why i couldn't find that passion anymore to go for Harvest Season and now i am embracing the reality is that my heart has long been passionate about a different group of people. 

they are my kiddos : ) and guys, i love you so much!