Remove not

Remove not these emotions that you have placed

within me since the day I was created

Remove not the capability to feel happiness, hope,

determination, patience, love and thanksgiving

Remove not the capacity to feel compassion,

to feel that prick of my conscience

to do good and justice instead of evil

But most of all, remove not the ability to cry

when sadness sees fit for tears,

remove not the ability to feel sorrowful, confused

and lost at times

when my emotions seem to tether

between reality and a self-conjured wall of security

Remove not the yearning to be

the person you want me to be

and even more than that,

remove not the urge to make a difference

in this life and banish notions of wanting

to just exist, breathe and eat

Remove not these feelings

that give me a personality and character
That I may never lose the gift

you have placed within me

the difference that separates me

from the animals and plants

You have given me a soul

that is capable of

feeling the good and also the bad

a soul that rages against the unfairness of life

a soul that weeps when it is afflicted

a soul that learns day by day

to depend on you for renewal,

restoration and redemption

Remove not the part of me

that makes me human, God

Remove not my feelings

despite the pain

because without the pain,

I would not have learnt to reach for you

for comfort and unfailing love

Remove not these feelings

for they become the stepping stones for me

stairways to honesty and acknowledgement

of the times when I fail

that you were there

to accept me the way that I am

this is to the he/she/they/me who cries at 3 a.m. alone...

this is to those moments where we feel so helpless and wish we would stop caring so we could feel less frustration....

this is to God who knows what He's doing though we haven't got a single clue sometimes...

Lord, Paul's plea to you during the thorn in his flesh... was remove not as well I think.

For in my weakness, my God's strength will be made perfect. One day, I'll give a testimony of it!

p.s. to you who knows this blog post is for you... love you. will always stand by you.