Change is constant, an oxymoron

What does the word change mean? According to the Merriam Webster-Online Dictionary, it defines change as to make different in some particular , to make radically different, to replace with another, to pass from one phase to another, to undergo transformation, transition, or substitution... There are just so many more that I just can't stop listing them out.

I guess for either definition that I'd just listed out, anyone or anything should fit into those definitions quite nicely. Whether its a change of environment, a change of personality, a transformation of character, a situation of transition or substitution... you name it. Fill in the blanks. In life, perhaps the most constant thing is change. You change schools, you change your taste of clothes, you change the way you read a word, you change your friends, you change your shoes, you change a pet... the list could go on; even when you were born your parents had to change your diapers. Nothing stays the same forever and things, circumstances and people face changes that slip through our fingers no matter how hard we try to hold onto them.

What I'm more concerned compared to the various changes is not the changes concerned... but rather the reactions towards the changes. Many times, as I was growing up [yes, I was young-er before :p] I found it hard to grapple with the issue of changes. Whenever I noticed that my friends were beginning to act differently, I would mope about it or gripe over it. In my idealistic mind, I wanted people to remain the same and be who they are until the end of their days. Now when I reflect back on this mindset, I realise I was very wrong. No one can ever stay the same, not even myself.

Sometimes we look at it as a disaster. In most cases, the change is a change in habits. Maybe your close friend stops being so cheerful or hyper in the classroom and starts to be serious. Maybe your guy friends start mixing more with the guys in school and hangs out lesser with the girls. Maybe you walk into school one day wondering why your friends in return tell you, "...you've changed." Maybe a bunch of new people joined your circle of friends and you wonder if things will ever be the same again? Maybe... so many changes can happen at one go and you feel like ignoring the whole world or running away?

Change is constant. It happens all the time. What matters more is that in the face of change, what is our response towards change. Here's a challenge, instead of looking at the change and focusing on how it affects you for the worse... look for the positive things that come out of this change or how can you be a changing factor in your on world?

For example, if you realise that your friend has changed in the way he talks to you. Find out why. Sometimes, its not even him or her rejecting you. It could be because the person is growing and maturing. We don't forever talk like children. We do eventually grow up, mind you. This is just an example, all right? Or maybe... there are new additions in your life. You have new friends and your friends have new friends. True you might not have the same attention or do so many things together or joke about the same things again...but I guess that doesn't necessarily mean life sucks from that point onwards. You can embrace change and be a part of it positively, or you can let change leave you behind and you gripe about it and be emo about it.

It's really within your own hands.

But of course, there can be changes like your friends change for the worse or situations go from bad to worse. Say you found out that your friend is backsliding in their faith, or compromising on your friendship, or something bad happens in your family. I don't ask you to find something positive when obviously your emotions will be hurt. However, I do challenge you to be a factor of change in that situation. If you truly notice bad changes are happening... pray about it, talk to the person / people concerned about it, look for advice about it. Again, don't sit there and gripe about it because standing still is the one thing that gives change control over your life. You've gotta do something about it positively.

The only thing or rather I'd say the only person who never changes is God. And we can rest assured that God will always be there for us during the times when we are misunderstood, the times when we don't have a clue to what is happening around us. He will be there to comfort us until one day the answer comes. Sometimes, seasons of change happen in our lives to test our faith in God and also to cause us to mature.

When I read my diaries that I wrote when I was 15 or 16, my issues would be the changes that I could not bring myself to resolve in my friends. I couldn't accept the changes that were happening in their lives because it was as if we were living separate lives from each other and all the common likings and stuff we shares were like obsolete. But as I look back now, I realise that as a teenager, we grappled with these issues because we were in a period of transition from child to adulthood..in other words we were going through change as well! And after that period, I learnt to appreciate my friends because I realised that in the midst of their change, I changed as well and it was for the better.

Learning to embrace change is an art. I can't say I've mastered it because in life, there will always be bigger and more changes to come. And they all come in varying forms. But the reaction towards change is more important than the change itself. That's why Jesus said, "Speak to the mountain..." He didn't say think or feel or gripe or watch the mountain. He specifically mentioned an affirmative action.

Speak to the mountain. Do something constructive about it.