Some personal revelation

I know my post for GY Camp is due and Sophira is grumbling... but let me blog about something else first...

When my sight was darkened by confusion
When I lost sight of You
Your voice broke through the clamour
Restored order, peace and truth

Just when I thought I had ran away for good,
You drew me back to You
Just when I had it all figured out
You called me back to You

Called me back to purpose
Called me back to hope
A life worth living again
Because You call me by my name

Never will I mistake that Voice
Never will I deny my path
For its not that I have chosen
But You have appointed and decreed

Just when I thought I had ran away for good,
You drew me back to You
Just when I had it all figured out
You called me back to You

That last night at camp. For the past 11 months of 2007, I have been busy with work, but the busiest I was with was to run from something that I knew God had deposited into my life since the year 2003. I had decided to let it go in 2007 and with tears and agony in my heart I told God to show me if I had made a mistake to let go of His calling for me.

As the year 2007 progressed, every single month I would be at a place where someone would be talking about calling. I would get dreams and hear sermons about Jonah running from God's assignment for him. Friends would preach about Jonah. And then.... GY Camp happened.

When Ps. John gave a call to those who were called to make a stand before God and man. I balked. God, how could You do this to me? I made a quick move to the back entrance of the hall and hid among the people there in hopes that I'd forget about what was being said. Then Ps. John gave a second call to those who are standing behind who haven't come forward. Great, so God isn't going to let off, right?

I didn't go. And this time. The tears wouldn't hold themselves anymore. I knew I had denied Him again and this time, the pain was too much to bear. I cried and cried. I talked to a good friend and realised through her wise words that I know that I know that I know now...

That my true release will come when I acknowledge God's will upon my life and STOP running from Him.

So God, here I am... ready to embrace Your assignment for me. I won't run from it anymore.