I A-M H-U-R-T. I A-M. God, I know You are there despite it all.

It's stormy times for me now. So many decisions, so many questions race through my mind these few days. I can only find peace when I worship God and sing my heart out. Only before God can I let out a deep breathe and be totally open and desperate for comfort.

Not that I'm fake at other times. Everyone has different identities to function in. At school, I'm Ms. Catherine... I can never present myself an emotional mess before colleagues or students, because we're suppose to motivate and encourage the children to work hard and develop their character. In church, I'm Catherine...one of the Usher Team Leaders, I'm a cell assistant and cell member... I have to be strong spiritually, be mature and present myself as a good testimony before my fellow bros and sis' in Christ. At home, I'm Mei Ling...the daughter... who needs to be capable and not depend on mom for money or support since I moved out.

I'm sure everyone has multiple identities to function in depending on the situation at that moment. But right now, I just want to be one identity... I just want to Catherine Ong Mei Ling - child of God.

Because this identity alone gives me the strength to carry on each day. It gives me the motivation to get out of bed and face another day at school. It fuels me from giving up on church and cell group. It guides me to endeavour in any way to be more caring of my own mother. God, I just want to be Your child at this moment. I don't want the toys You gave me - - - spiritual gifts, talents, anointing - - - I WANT YOU, AND YOU ALONE, DAD

Abba Daddy, I just want to crawl into Your arms and fall asleep with a smile on my face because You whisper in my ear, "Everything's going to be all right, baby. Daddy will fix it for you."

Let me sleep in Your arms,
Abandon all my worries.
Sleep in Your warm embrace

Daddy, I'm sad. I need a hug *sob*

You are my Rock in times of trouble
You lift me up,when I am down
All through the storm
Your love is the anchor
My hope in in You alone

Only You. Only You. Only You.