time of reflection

I've been sick for the past one and a half days with stomach flu. A lot of people who heard me use that term "stomach flu" ask me what it is. Does that mean my stomach is having the flu? To put it in simpler terms... my stomach is currently infected with a nasty virus that generates toxins in my intestines and stomach which results in fever, vomitting, nausea, stomach pain and cramps, giddiness and diarrhea. So far the cramps and pain have stopped. I had a bout of throwing up twice - all my precious orange juice, handful of rice and two table spoons of soup and seaweed, crackers, water and medicine - all came out *ugh* Plus last night I had to sleep through recurring high fever and chills. I've never been so sick my whole life, except in 2005 when I had tonsilitis in UK and I was bed-ridden for 4 days because I was sick and had an allergic reaction to penicillin after that. Even now as I type I still feel physically weak because the lack of solid food is draining me... even my hair is limp and lifeless... haha.

But yesterday, as I sat there moping and trying to work up the strength to choose worship songs for cell group, it was already 8pm and I was still on MSN trying to use my mind to convince my body to get up to choose songs. It was too late to tell my cell leader to "choose someone else" and I felt responsible to still go ahead with it eventhough I was sick. When worship came, God just took over, I don't know where I found the strength to even sing so loud, and strum the guitar without feeling dizzy...because generally being on my feet made me feel giddy already. Praise God for that!

During cell group, we read out loud verses on healing. The verse, "....by His stripes we are healed..." and my cell leader emphasised that for every whip lash diseases were beaten away from us and placed unto Jesus. It really struck me as I was listening through my hazy consciousness and I imagined and visualised the whip lashes as they opened up the back of Jesus, just how painful it was for Him. He went through so much pain for a much more lesser pain of mine? The reality of God's sacrifice for me makes me want to get well real soon to thank Him with a healthy life for the things He went through for my sakes on the cross.

Thank You, Jesus. The things You did on the cross for me. I'm being healed even as I speak even as I breathe. And I'm grateful to just even be alive. You went through so much more for small, insignificant things in my life. Because You chose to love me first, let me now choose to love You forever until the my days on earth reach their very last.

Love You, JC =)