Here We Go
The end of year 2011 came and went in a whirlwind of activity, excitement and joy. This is probably the year where I've eaten the most for Christmas, been blessed with the most small and loving gifts from people I least expected, and the year where I spent more time with new friends and family.

And yet, being the typical nostalgic and sentimental person that I am, I can't help but note how some old traditions or habits were no longer in play. No more going for our usual Sunday Christmas lunch and oooh and aaah over the food. No more sitting at the Christmas tree and opening presents.

Somehow, I never stopped missing those moments and yet somehow I've moved on. How is that possible even?

But 2011 is the year where new friendships were forged. I had to look at myself real hard on the inside sometimes and acknowledge that the old days were gone and I either had to continue to be miserable with it forever or move on.

I decided to move on.
But I never stopped caring.

I note that around me circumstances have taken a big 180 degrees turn about and I have caught myself many times comparing and thinking of those "what ifs" and "maybes" for the year 2011. I want to be resolute for 2012 and not look at temporal things but eternal things. The things that I can see won't last forever, but the things that are unseen - faith, hope, love - they endure forever.

I will continue to plod on in this journey of life, knowing that I have a band of brothers and sisters, such a growing family we are, that gives me strength when I least expect it, love when I least know I need it and hope when I least realise I'm losing it. I know that there is a family that I can depend on and yet wont allow me to be dependant on them until I become a cripple. I have a family who pushes me up and on.

So 2012, I'm about to take my first step in a few hours time in my work, relationships, ministry and ambition.  I'm giving it all to You, for You know best.
And I just want to say thank You for giving me a family in Christ who loves me and allows me to love them!

Dear Mr. Someone,

How have you been? It's been ages since I've written to you. Maybe because things have gotten so busy this whole year of 2011. How has your year been so far? I bet you were caught up with a whirlwind of things too, right?

This year, my heart has been tested. I catch myself wondering whether I've finally met you and whether you've finally met me. Nothing too romantic, but yes, I felt a fluttering once in a while. But I know it's going to take more than just a feeling to open up and allow another person in my heart.

Life has been so interesting in this area. I see myself react, think and feel in a totally different way in this area this year. Perhaps God is leading me into a whole new different perspective of living. To learn to pray for things that never seemed to matter to me before. And now, I pray for all those things because I realise that God wants them to matter to me. Wow, that's something new. We always thought we'd pray for God's will in things that interest Him but we never thought of ourselves being His focus as well.

I miss you lots. I know I'm writing a blog post here to someone that I have yet to meet but yet I want to prepare my heart. That there will be that defining moment where we both decide to take our friendship beyond a friendship. Where two individuals set aside their differences and purpose to share a common vision together as a couple and later on as a family unit to glorify God and be a blessing to those around them.

That day will come. Until then, I will stay true to you. My Mr. Someone :)

Focus
It's the little things in life that count. Cliche as it may sound, it is so true.

What matters to me, what brightens my day, what makes the world seem more hopeful to me...
Isn't in the amount of money I earn.
Isn't in what car I drive or how many times I modify it to look cool and flashy.
Isn't about how many degrees I hold from distinguished universities.
Isn't about what house I stay in.
Isn't about what job I'm working in.
Isn't about which church I belong in.
Isn't about what kind of friends I need to have.
Isn't about the food I eat, the Starbucks I crave, or the mint choc chip I just bought.

Life isn't made more meaningful by all this.
All that is vanity. Vain longings that momentarily sate the true hunger and desires within.

Different things make my day and inspire me to continue hoping. Here's a few...

It's about feeling that small hand holding yours and hear the child's voice call you by name.
It's about seeing a smile erase a worried face.
It's about being able to pass on a blessing to some one who needs it but least expects it.
It's about having a genuine laugh over some really ugly pictures, and knowing that it doesn't matter anyway.
It's about sharing a common vision and goal in life.
It's about agreeing that it's ok not to be ok.
It's about watching your students grow up and move on victoriously in life.
It's about seeing your life's investment grow and multiply and propagate to the next generation.
It's about seeing God in a situation and finding peace.
It's about feeling helpless yet not losing that sense of gravity in His strength.
It's about seeing a rainbow when you feel your lowest, a special reminder that He will not let you drown.
It's about being able to be honest and know that you won't be judged.
It's about knowing that no matter what, we're double secure in God and Jesus' hands.
It's about being certain that your spiritual home is not your final destination and that there is always more.

Life becomes meaningful when we refocus and it becomes all about Father, Son and Spirit again. These are times when we are lured by the external and forget that without the internal realisation, ANYTHING becomes vanity. Even going to church and worshiping becomes vanity because we lose the focus we need.

Lord, I'm so sorry for focusing on the non-essential things instead of focusing on You. Teach me again, show me once more.

I want to fall deeper in love with You.
Amen.